How to Make Vow Renewal Ceremonies
Low Budget Weddings to Remember

Wedding Party Attendants-Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, etc.
One school of thought is that if you had a big wedding when you got married then you should not include your attendants again or have attendants at all. You and your spouse should walk down the aisle together or the "bride" should enter unescorted. Or if you have children, they can escort you down the aisle.

There are some exceptions to this, however, as there are usually exceptions to any "rule." What if you want to recreate your original wedding because you had so much fun and you're still the fun-loving, happy couple that you were when you got married? Well, if your original attendants agree to it, do it again. You may not want to refer to them as the Maid or Matron of Honor and Best Man. You may simply refer to anyone in the wedding party as "attendants."

And instead of the elaborate bridesmaids gowns that they wore the first time, you may want them to wear something a little more informal - and affordable. And instead of tuxedos, your men can wear nice matching suits.

And if you never had the big formal affair for your wedding, for instance if you said your vows in a quick civil ceremony before a military deployment, then make your vow renewal ceremony the big affair that you weren't able to have the first time, complete with all the bells and whistles.

Return to Top

What about gift registries?
Vow renewal ceremonies are, for the most part, anniversary celebrations and since you are already married, you really should not be registering with gift registries. Wedding gift registries are really for the guests of the new bride and groom to know what to give the newlyweds as they start out on their own. Once you're already married and on your own, you should not be asking for any more gifts from your family and friends.

But what if you had a quick and very uneventful civil ceremony on a military base by the chaplain prior to a military deployment? It was just you, your fiance and the chaplain and maybe a clerk or a superior officer as a witness. No festivities. You said 'I Do' and your new spouse went running for the bus or plane and was shipped out of the country.

Maybe you're still living with your parents while your spouse is deployed or you're living on the base alone and you're not actually going to be starting your lives together as husband and wife until he returns.

This is a great example of an exception to every rule of vow renewal ceremonies. In this scenario, you really did not have anything resembling a traditional Wedding ceremony. Even your parents weren't there to congratulate you. You really didn't even elope!

In this case, yes, you can register with a gift registry and plan your wedding day for when your spouse returns. Legally you're already married and your anniversary date won't change. But for all intents and purposes, this will be your Wedding Day.

Return to Top

Bridal Showers
As a rule and in keeping with proper etiquette, bridal showers and bachelor parties are reserved for the first-time newlyweds much the same as gift registries. Bridal showers or "hen parties," are parties to celebrate the last night of the bride-to-be as a single woman and congratulate her on her upcoming wedding. The gifts at a bridal shower can range from intimate apparel that she'll be wearing for her new husband to fun and necessary gifts like household cleaning items, to remind her that she's going to be moving out of her parents' house and will now have her own place to clean.

So no, you should not expect and shouldn't even ask for a bridal shower before your vow renewal wedding ceremony. It's actually rather tacky to even think of it.

The exception to the rule, again, quick, uneventful civil ceremonies prior to a military deployment, where you weren't able to be given a bridal shower and you're planning your traditional wedding celebration for when your spouse comes home.

Return to Top

Who officiates a reaffirmation ceremony?
Your officiant can be anyone you want. If you had a quick civil ceremony when you got married and now you'd like something more religious, you can request your minister to officiate. If you're friends with a local district justice or mayor, you may choose to have him, although it's not necessary because you're already legally married.

You can choose a close friend, relative or even one of your children to be your officiant. It's whatever or whomever you want! My cousin's husband officiated our renewal ceremony. I wanted a close friend and member of the family and he fit the bill perfectly.

Return to Top

What vows do we say?
For your vows, you can choose to repeat the exact vows you spoke on your wedding day, or write new ones that reflect the time you've been together and how you still feel.

I'm not much of a romance writer and didn't want our vows to sound like something canned. So I did a lot of research on the Internet, picked out a variety of different sample vows that said exactly what I wanted us to say, then blended them in, changed some around, and wrote the final draft that my husband and I will repeat to each other.

I also wrote the greeting that my cousin will read to our guests when the ceremony starts. And no one has to memorize a thing. I'll have our ceremony printed in booklet style on cardstock for my cousin to hold and read from, which makes him a lot more comfortable. Then he'll read our vows and we'll repeat them, so we don't have to memorize them either.

Return to Top

What kind of wedding dress is appropriate?
That is really a personal choice. If you can still fit into your original wedding dress, feel free to wear it again. If you had a large traditional ceremony when you got married, you can choose from a wide variety of informal second wedding dresses for this ceremony. The choice is yours depending on how small and intimate or large and formal the reaffirmation ceremony is that you're planning.

Return to Top

Where should we have our ceremony?
You're actually planning a wedding, whether low-key with a casual party afterward or the full traditional event complete with a reception, so where you choose to have your vow renewal ceremony largely depends on how many guests you want to have share the day with you -outside, at a fire banquet hall, anywhere that will accommodate the amount of people you will be inviting.

Return to Top

Invitations for Vow Renewals
Invitations for vow renewal ceremonies will depend on the formality of the celebration. For smaller, more intimate events, online wedding invitations are becoming popular today, or you can simply send an email to your friends and relatives or even book the event on Facebook.

For wording more formal vow renewal ceremonies, simply follow the same rules for any other wedding invitations, but in this case, you or possibly your children are hosting the event, not your parents. And instead of using words like "marriage" or "join together," you can substitute phrases like "renew our vows" or "reaffirm our commmitment."

Many couples choose to make their invitations themselves so they can write their own wording to express how much they want their friends to share in the joy of renewing their vows, especially for close friends and family that may not have been able to be present at the first wedding.

Some sample wordings are...

The honor of your presence
is requested at
the reaffirmation of the wedding vows of...

Please join us
as we renew our wedding vows
and celebrate (5, 10, 25...) years together...

The children of
(your names)
Request the honor of your presence...

Are you planning to renew your vows - or have you already?

If you're planning a vow renewal ceremony and need some ideas, or you've already renewed your vows, share your ideas on what made it special for you.

How our other visitors celebrated renewing their vows...

Click below to see stories from our other visitors...

Go to Home Page from Vow Renewal Ceremonies