Wedding Rehearsal Dinner Ideas & Etiquette

Rehearsal dinner ideas can range from elaborate gatherings in expensive hotel restaurants to small, casual affairs like backyard barbecues. While there are some traditional so-called guidelines for the rehearsal dinner, rules are always made to be broken. So unless you're one to stick to tradition no matter what, there are simply just a few things to consider when coming up with rehearsal dinner ideas.

When Is the Rehearsal Dinner?
Usually you have the dinner right after the rehearsal, which is usually the evening before the wedding. And it doesn't have to be a long and drawn out event. Gather for dinner, have the toasts, present your wedding party with their thank you gifts and then go home for a good night's sleep.

expensive-rehearsal-dinner Who Pays for the Rehearsal Dinner?
Traditionally, the wedding rehearsal dinner is hosted and paid for by the groom's parents or the groom's family, especially since traditionally the bride's family is paying for the reception. Today, a lot of couples are hosting and paying for both, especially if this is a second wedding for either the bride or the groom, or if the event is a vow renewal wedding.

Rehearsal Dinner Locations
Again, there are no hard and fast rules about where you should have your dinner. Rehearsal dinner ideas can depend largely on how many people you're inviting to the dinner and what your budget is.

Some dinners can run several hundred to thousands of dollars if held in more elaborate restaurants with more than 15 or 20 people on the guest list. You can also run up a tab if you host the dinner at home but have it catered.

However, if you're going to host the dinner as a casual backyard picnic where all of the food is home-cooked, like a potluck dinner where everyone brings a dish, then you can really keep the costs very low.

Whatever rehearsal dinner locations you are considering, you need to consider how many guests you'll be inviting and if you have enough room for where you want to host it.

Who is Invited to the Rehearsal Dinner?
The guest list largely depends on who is paying for it. If the groom's parents are hosting the dinner, they may make up the guest list themselves or ask for your input. If the bride and groom are hosting and paying for the dinner themselves, then it's up to them.

Traditionally, the guest list includes the wedding party and their spouses or dates, the parents of the bride and groom, grandparents, siblings. You might also want to invite out of town guests, especially if they've flown or traveled a great distance to attend the wedding. The officiant and his or her spouse should also be invited.

If you're on a pretty small budget and you need to keep costs low, you can limit the guest list to only those who are in the wedding party and their spouses or dates, the officiant and the parents.

Wedding Rehearsal Dinner Invitations
Traditionally, wedding rehearsal dinner invitations are written and mailed with RSVPs to the guests. Today, however, written, formal invitations aren't necessary or required. You can let your guests know about some rehearsal dinner ideas that you're planning and get some feedback, send an email, use an online invitation service or even scheduled a Facebook event to let your guests know about the dinner.

Rehearsal Dinner Speeches or Toasts
If this is a traditional rehearsal dinner hosted by the groom's parents, the groom's father will usually make a toast. He can welcome the bride-to-be into their family, welcome the bride's family, toast the soon-to-be newlyweds, or he doesn't have to say anything at all if he's not much of a public speaker.

The bride and groom may make toasts thanking everyone for helping participate in the wedding planning or thank long distance guests for making the special effort to attend, or simply say something special to each attendant as they give them their thank you gifts.

But none of the toasts or speeches, if there are any at all, needs to lengthy. There will be enough time for that the next day at the wedding reception.

How Much Should the Rehearsal Dinner Cost?
What you spend, or what the groom's family spends, depends on the rehearsal dinner ideas that are being considered and how many guests are going to be invited. For instance, a small gathering a local family restaurant may only cost about $15 per person, but the same guest list at a more elaborate country-club style venue may cost upwards of $50 per person.

If the dinner is going to be more casual, say a backyard picnic, for $10 per person you can have the event catered or you can spend an average of $5 or $7 per person by having everyone bring a dish and have a potluck event